used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize