I accidentally burped into my bong.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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