you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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