You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
