when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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