I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
