Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We had sex on a dog bed..
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize