everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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