If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
