So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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