I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Randomize
