have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
