btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We named our party play list daddy issues
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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