You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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