Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
