he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
