last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
