oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
