Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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