i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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