you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
