hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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