he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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