I just threw up on my dentist
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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