My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
