i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
