P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
