He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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