that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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