so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize