Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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