Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
