i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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