I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
