4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
