Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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