YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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