she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize