is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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