Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
