yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
