I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I had to cum in my sink.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
