i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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