OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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