:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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