If that was your dad, he is hot
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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