Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
