TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
