We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize