"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Shame - the story of my life.
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