Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
