I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My Sexting was not on an AP level
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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