I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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