The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Randomize
