I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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