he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
