i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
