Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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